Embracing the inner child

We all were tiny at one point. Throughout childhood, we acquired skills, learned how to relate to other people, and had our beautiful and not-so-beautiful experiences in our relations. It is very individual how we reacted to particular incidents. But one thing to take in is that whatever felt not okay, was crossing boundaries, or making you upset is valid, because that is how you felt. Fast-forwarding to adulthood and how things are now, it is normal to still, to an extent, run on programs, triggers, and fears that were created in the early years, exactly because there was a need to cope, protect, or defend.

So looking at relationships now, are they good? Is it possible to open the heart and let the guard down? Is it possible to ask for help without feeling bad? Is it possible to be vulnerable and seen, without fearing abandonment or rejection for who you are?

The chance is that the answer will be no to one or several of those questions. That is completely normal. However, if it feels like your relation with others and with life could be better, but the same behaviours and reactions keep repeating, even if innocently, it may be time to look deeper. 

Often what is sought from others and tried to be gained from relations are feelings that were not received as a child. The feeling of validation, of being good enough, of feeling seen, loved, accepted. The list is long. But what happens when it is sought from others is that, again, the way of wanting to feel is put in the hands of other people. And often there is hurt again, or disappointment. 

So what if you could work on giving those feelings that you are longing for to yourself? What if it is possible to be the one person and adult who can comfort you, be there for you, and not leave your side. Its is about embracing the inner child, which is there in all of us. Listen when it wants attention, comfort it when it needs to be comforted, and tend to it with love and care. Then things will shift. 

Easy? Maybe not. But practice will help. Remember; you are still that little girl or boy and you carry her/him inside you. So be gentle and kind, the child just wants attention and love.